One Year Ago

When I opened this folder to get some pictures for this post I couldn't help but cry. I don't look back at these pictures very often, but the feelings are as fresh as ever.

We were waiting

Our heart's hurt

Our baby was sick

We lived a hospital

We had many angels

We were hopeful

There's a Party in the USA

Ellie has never watched a Hannah Montana show/movie. She has however listened to her new song possibly 100 times. I'm not a huge fan of her loving teen pop music, but last night while watching Glee I realized that I was exposed to popular music at a young age. I guess it's not so bad, well this song anyway. I'm sure the day is nearing when she will ask me what "stilettos" are. The funny thing is, I'm not sure if I have the right answer. High hills, right? Like really high heeled shoes? JoDee- don't hate!

John (Mr. must have music on) introduced Ellie to Taylor Swift which she could pop in the CD player and blast with no assistance. Now, he has moved onto this song. Well, Ok- he's not insisting she listen to it. He will turn on some online music thing and it will come on and Ellie will insist on certain songs over and over. Hence our families continual singing of this song. The other day we choreographed a little dance together-- she gets her head and hips confused!

I'll tell you one thing is for sure... There's a Party in the USA!! Well at least in our kitchen when this song is on.



Last time I was the parent helper at Ellie's school, she brought a singing barbie for show and tell. Her teacher asked her if she would sing the song to the class after Barbie sang "connected." I was thinking in my head, yeah right. She totally did it. She sang the whole little jingle that Barbie does loud and proud. I was shocked. This is something that neither John or I would have EEEEVER done when we were her age- or now for that matter. It will be fun to see if the confidence lasts. I suppose the exposure to girl music is aiding her confidence... maybe... or she could just be a show off.

And you're ok with that?

Jensen and I were sitting at the table and he began to express his feelings about little Sister Ellie. A little background is that when the kids get candy from say, a birthday party, Ellie will eat it all in one sitting, barely tasting it as it goes down (gets this from her mom). Jensen takes his and stashes it in a certain drawer and eats it over time (gets this from Dad). Ellie has known about Jensen's candy stash for a long time and is not shy about dipping into the rations.

Jens: Dad, I wish I didn't have a little sister.
Dad: Do you really feel that way?
Jens: Well, I like her about this much (he holds his fingers about an inch apart)
Dad: You will feel a lot different about that as you get older. Did you know that Aunt Beebs is my sister? She's great! (He had just returned from playing at her house)
Jens: Yeah, but it's different.
Dad: How is it any different?
Jens: Did your sister eat all your candy?
Dad: Yes I am sure my sister got into my candy.
Jens: And you're ok with that?

The look on his face was priceless. Sheer disbelief.

John Boy's Family... knows how to party

My three crazies. Jense (mr. bumblebee) didn't want any costume changes this year. Mia was supposed to be a pumpkin, but I couldn't find it in the abyss that is our attic, and Elvis was about five different things for various Halloween occasions.




Mia's full costume- I had to throw this one in. The kids stepped it up a notch in the candy gathering this year. By the end of the night Ellie could barely hold onto her massive bag full of candy. Mia went to trunk or treat- it was fun to have her in public...outdoor public that is. I think the highlight of their night was the candy sorting... or maybe that was my favorite part.




Tinkerbell. This was the original request for Halloween. She wore this costume for preschool and at 2 Halloween parties. Hmmm... I haven't downloaded those pictures yet. I completely forgot my camera at John's dad and step mom's party. It was a super cute party with fun games. I would love some pic's if anyone has some.



We couldn't wrangle our little Indians for a family photo. The annual Halloween party at John's mom and step dad's house was a cowboy/Indian party. I had my children all geared up to be cowboy/girls. Two hours before we were supposed to show up, Jense and Ellie decided they wanted to be Indians. I just went with the sudden costume change but should have asked a few more questions. I threw together some costumes (because we can't show up not in costume) but learned after the party that the kids only wanted to be Indians so they could go in the tee pee. John constructed a tee pee for the party and the kids decided that only Indians would be allowed in the tee pee. It would have been much easier to just tell them that everyone could go in the tee pee. The activities were endless and if I used a picture to describe all of them, this post would get way out of hand... if it hasn't already!




A bit of knife throwing. He practices at home- not really.



Jense thrilled that he gets to throw a knife. Thank goodness for that headdress or he might have been mistaken for a pirate. Hey, I tried. Oh- and I didn't have my sewing machine- which would have drastically improved the costumes. Maybe. a little.



Howdy Pardner! My ultra smiley daughter did what she does best- smile, and boy did I shoot away. Who says the third child doesn't get photographed as much as the first? I think Mia is going to have double the baby pics (well since we've been home) than my other two.



The sweetest cowgirl I have ever seen! With a tooth...can you see it? can you see it? FINALLY!

Super Baby! Even with her left!

I couldn't resist adding these cute faces. I took a picture of my little cowboy nephews and boy are they little heart breakers!

Indian Princess playing her drum

Jail Birds- there was a show down and everyone pretty much ended up in jail. A jail that was lovingly created by myself and my mother in law. I don't have a full picture, but it was a full scale jail... I was quite proud of our handiwork. Cardboard, tape and thumb tacks... that's all you need folks.

Ride 'Em Cowgirl

My little Indian Chief

Mia was an Indian turned cowgirl. This is her bashful, bury her head in the chest (face in this pic) cuteness. I love it.



Ellie jumped on Daddy's back during the showdown. She's always got to be in the action! The party was well thought out and jammed packed full of fun games/ stories. The kids came home with a treasure full of candy and memories of a fun childhood. It's safe to say that my parties will never compare to the annual Halloween parties.

Mia skeletor

In case you wanted to see that super baby just one more time. Happy Halloween!! even though it's over.

Patch and Such

Pumpkin slingshot

Bulls-eye!

This is Mia's signature pose. "SUPER BABY!" We have quite a few Super Baby shots.

Where are those fingers headed, Mia?

Pumpkin Seekers

Pumpkin Inspector- a cute one I might add

Eager for Carmel Popcorn

Our Baby Pumpkin

On the Move

Ellie had mad skills at scraping out her pumpkin. She loved the pumpkin guts and wanted to feed it to Mia.... nice. She is also sporting Mia's clothes, I guess it was only a matter of time. Her favorite pair of shorts this past summer were pink, size 3-6 months.



Jense requested a spoon but we turned him down. No guts no glory! I've created somewhat of a monster in the hand cleanliness department. Once given the go ahead- he dove right in.

What to expect when you're unexpectedly expecting

# 1- expect to be shocked that despite all of your prevention somehow you're still "expecting."

# 2- expect to keep it a secret for as long as humanly possible.

# 3- expect your husband to breech protocol and announce it on facebook months before you were ready share the news.

# 4- Expect to pep talk your self for weeks that everything will be OK despite what you went through the last time you were expecting.

# 5- Expect everyone who finds out to say things like, "NO WAY!" "Seriously?" "WOW, really?" and my personal favorite.. "I didn't see that one coming."

# 6- Expect your cardiologist to be very reassuring that the blood pressure medicine you were taking isn't a huge concern.

# 7- Expect that you will still think about it non stop.

# 8- Expect to have multiple echo's scheduled to check out your baby's heart and your heart.

# 9- Expect family to be loving and reassuring that everything will be fine.

# 10- Expect to start getting excited about the new life growing inside.

# 11- Expect to break the news to your children and have your daughter immediately commence her mauling of your belly.

# 12- Expect to lie awake wondering how you will handle a heart baby and a newborn.

# 13- Expect to be pregnant with a sister, a sister in law, and 5 other girls from your ward.

# 14- Expect to be obsessing about the swine flu now for yourself , and not just your transplant baby.

# 14- Expect to ad a slew of appointments to your already appointment rich life.

# 15- Expect to be angry at your husband despite his elation over the fact you're expecting.

So, it's true! We are expecting our fourth little one. Crazy I know! Believe me all of the thoughts you could possibly be having over this news have already gone through my head. Yes, all of them.

We are of course really excited NOW and here is why....

Monday we had an appointment to find out the heart status of baby #4 and to see how my heart was doing. I have been counting down to this appointment. I tried not to get too preoccupied with the possibilities, but sometimes it all caught up with me. Pregnancy hormones coupled with my experience with Miss Mia... bring on the tissue.

Monday was a fabulous day to say the least!!!

When the sonographer started scanning and found the babies heart my heart stopped for a minute. This was the moment of truth... I can't really describe it, but you can imagine how it would have been. The very first frame was a four chamber view and I could see those baby valves pumping away. Having viewed an insane amount of echos in my 28 years I knew that this heart was a healthy one. I looked at my husband and said, "that is one perfect looking heart." He agreed. He said it was nice not to see one side "crazy dilated." My cardiologist (who is great) knew I was a basket case going into that appointment and came in to confirm my conclusion. He gave us a big thumbs up.

NO HEART DIAGRAM!!!!

It's about time we got some good news from him- I wish I had the camera ready to snap a picture of those thumbs!

While checking on the heart we also found out that baby 4 is a.............

BOY

I could not be more pleased! A healthy heart AND a little man to even up our fam. I was hoping for a boy- and I am extremely excited that we get to grant Jensen's wish for a little bro. He is going to be a good buddy, with the amount of kicks I feel Jense will have a difficult time keeping up. Now for a name.... hmmm.

There you have it- We feel so blessed!

Wasn't this unexpected???

The Trick

Ellie Trick

Jensen Trick

Jensen Trick

Baby Jensen Trick

Baby Ellie Trick

Big Boy Trick

Mia Trick

Baby Mia Trick

* mommies trick= sorting through six years of pictures looking for photo's of past tricks.

Mutton Bustin' and other adventrues of JEM

This is my little mutton buster! I have been wanting Jense and Ellie to ride them some sheep- so I prepped them early. When I talked about the fair I hyped up the part where they get to ride on a sheep and see how long they could hold on. I even showed them clips on you tube so they would know what to expect. I can still feel the eyes burning into me when I fell off my first sheep. I'm unsure if I ever rode a sheep again... I can't remember, but that first ride was an unforgettable one.

"OK kids, when you fall off don't put your arms out to catch your body, just fall" This was advice I probably should have kept to myself. Ellie turned into poutville and decided she didn't want to do it. It would have been nice to know BEFORE I paid for her to ride.
Jense tried to turn that frown upside down. It worked. When Jense got on the sheep it got down on it's knees which totally scared him. He had to take a few minutes, then he got right back on- ok ok I had to bribe him, but it worked. After he fell off and got his high fives he was on cloud nine. He is all fired up for next year. Ellie too. After she saw Jensen's prize I think she is prepared to ride many a mutton.
A boy on a shiny motorcycle

A sweet smile

Best of Friends

Two kids of summer

The highlight of our day was meeting up with Mia's first heart friend Sophia and her family. They flew in just for the fair!! Not really. Remember Fia?

I loved visiting with them, and seeing Fia run around. I watched in disbelief that she was born one hour after Mia. She is darling- these girls have had quite the journey.

Family Photo Shoot Halloween Style

After seeing Mia's fang teeth Ellie insisted we make the whole family spooky. She got a big kick out of giving everyone vampire teeth. I kept my favorites- Wuaah HA HA (deep Halloween voice)




Don't let this innocent little face deceive you!



Daddy Monster!! This one is my personal favorite! It was quite gratifying to distort his face and the kids were full of belly laughs and squeals.



Jense's isn't that exciting. I should have given him a face bulge huh? The most difficult part of the Halloween fun was finding pictures that would work.


Ellie's expression was perfect! I guess her extreme smiling came in handy for once- only once mind you. I can't get her to tone it down. We did this a few days ago and she laughs as hysterically today as she did when we made them. I aim to please!

Happy Halloween!!

We have CRAWLING!!!!

The magnificent event occurred approximately three hours ago. We were cleaning up and I came across a bag of dum dum's that my aunt Lani had given the kids and thought Mia would sure enjoy one of those puppies. I sat on the floor with her, gave her a few tastes, then put the sucker on the floor (on the wrapper of course) a few feet away. She looked at me, grunted/fussed and reached for the sucker, but didn't move that bootie. Repeat the above a few times and I realized she just isn't that motivated by sweets because she is not even army crawling for it. I set it across the room and went to go outside. Just when I turned my head to see if she would go for it, she was jammin- well slowly jammin, but jammin nonetheless. I ran out to John and told him to come quick- and to get the video camera. With tape rollin, I put the sucker way out of reach once again. She looked and me reached for me and started to cry... not the performance I was hoping to show daddy. Then I realized that it is me. I am the reason she wasn't crawling. So I left the room and hide behind the couch. Immediately she started to crawl hand, knee, hand knee, hand knee... I was overjoyed!! Mia's auntie even stopped by to get some forks (don't ask) and got to witness the milestone months in the making. While John was filming her new talent he commented, "Mia, you did it sis... not a lot of fifteen month old's can do that!!" Mr. funny pants. He's got jokes.

Well there you have it- she crawled- she crawled!!! Woo hoo!!! Who knew it was such a quick road from clapping to crawling. She also has a few more words and hand gestures. Her waving is priceless. Mia is a huge fan of identifying parts of the face, and has a mean eye gouge. I am just soaking up her babyhood...not the eye gouging part.

Still no teeth, but I just switched her drug from cyclo to tacro and we'll see if she can cut a few. If you are lost, I'll explain. The drug she has been on has two main side effects: gum thickening, and hairy larryness. Some kids really have a difficult time cutting teeth through the rock solid gums. I feel like her solid food intake would increase when she can chew on something, and I just want her to get a few teeth- they have been at that bubbly stage for months now (you can kind of see it in the above picture). I was/am nervous to switch because we have had such a good experience on cyclo, I would hate to mess anything up. The Jury is still out as to which drugs are "better" but her docs think cyclo is better for infants.

In other Mia news- she is stepping it up a notch in the violence department. For some reason she is extremely slap happy. She has a little V-tech drum that she beats, but it crosses over to faces. Not so much faces in general, just my face. John gets a kick out of her rapid slaps to my face. I think all of the positive reinforcement encourages her to "slap a mom." She slaps rapid fire, then turns to look at her dad and smiles. It was cute, but now I am starting to have to tell her "no," or put my hand in front of my face and surrender saying, "fives, fives, fives Mia, fives." It doesn't help that Ellie LOVES it, and obliges Mia's love of the slap.

At our last appointment, she weighed in at 19.9 lbs--- SAWEET!!! I decided that qualifies as 20 lbs and I turned that car seat around. I love looking back and seeing her sweet face and watching her discover a whole new world of car rides.


And just for fun... I gave Miss Mia some teeth!

My Boy

Jensen is so grown up now. His birthday might, just might have been over a month ago. Six years old is soooo old!

I know I am not alone in wishing I could just freeze my kids for awhile, and take in their little selves just the way they are. When I look back even six months I can see a difference- and I long for that little goofy smile... complete with ketchup in this instance.

Jense is my planner boy. He is ultra organized and prepared for any task. He had his monster truck party planned out for months. He requested a Chuck E Cheese party, complete with a monster truck cake, and six candles. I wasn't too keen on the location 1)germ-ville 2) I really enjoy planning the games, but he had his heart set. The party was fun, and he was delighted with his guests and gifts. We got him a Bumblebee transformer costume for his birthday. Is it bad that his present was his Halloween costume? Nah!

The other day I asked him who his friends were at school. He sweetly responded, "my girl friends or my boy friends?" I am clinging to his innocence and do not look forward to the day when the term "girl friend" means something else. He proudly listed off some names, and then reported how one boy told him not to be the friend of another boy. We had a good talk about that!



Jense melts my heart almost every day with his sincerity. He is the boy that is encouraging and complimentary to his moma and I often wonder where in the world he came from. He constantly tries to outdo himself with the "I love you as big as a _____" game. His answers are pretty creative, but when he is trying to trump anything John or I say it always defaults back to skyscraper. I think he just likes the word. When I say "All the sand in the sea," or something I deem as some crazy amount he gets wide eyed and says, "woah, that's a lot." Can't get enough of this kid.

He is still my little man, but he has grown up a lot this year and is aware of the not so fun things in life. He loves his baby and she loves him. Jense can get Mia to laugh at just about anything- he is very proud of this. He keeps asking for a baby brother and talks about teaching him how to do stuff. We often tell Ellie how she gets to teach Mia to play dress up, and do her hair etc. Jense is ready for a little buddy. He does have one request though. Every time he mentions a baby brother, he always follows it up with..."but without a heart transplant." Poor kiddo.

Happy birthday to the sweet, responsible, table setting, bathroom cleaning (he thoroughly enjoys it) note writing, rocket drawing, picture taking, car washing, breakfast cooking, battery charging, Narnia loving, tongue rolling, book loving, mole trapping, cookie making, back scratch requesting, dessert insisting, tool utilizing, bike maintaining, water bottle carrying, fast running, transformer wizard there ever was!

Here is a look back to his first five birthdays:

The big 1

2 years old! This picture cracks me up.. Jense looks afraid, John looks like a new kid on the block, Ellie ate the michelin man, and my eye brows were on vacation.

4 years- I can't find a picture of his 3rd party. It was a superman party, and I can't for the life of me figure out where those pictures went.

Five years

Jensen, you made me a momma- my very most favorite thing in the whole wide world!

Utah take Dos

Meet the Family. This is my side- all girls. I am the blonde in the sea of beautiful brunettes. One of these girls is doin her own thing- go ahead, sing along! I got the crazy genes... blonde hair and bum heart.

Our fam...gotta love Jensen's white socks- I do!

The reason for the photo shoot was this little darlin's blessing. Sydney Sellers was blessed the weekend we were in Utah and I'm so glad I didn't miss it. She was named after her papa. It's interesting how you can love your sister's kids almost as much as your own. She slept the entire time I was around her, but she is just precious!

The "spitfire" club

Uncle Nathan throwing his son...yes this 2 year old did a back flip mid air.

Another crazy trick- the wagon wheel, or so I'm naming it. This one is my personal favorite. The kids lined up for uncle Nathan tricks and he did not disappoint. Ellie actually showed nervousness on her face- it was a spectacle for all to behold. I think she is turning a corner in her thrill seeking ways.

Well maybe not quite... at least not at the expense of her sister anyway.

Jense joining in the fun. It was trick day that day.
Mia's favorite trick is "circus trick"-- pictures to come.

The whole clan minus two husbands, a son, and four doggies.

Stalling

This is a stalling post. I am stalling because I am too far behind. I'm in over my head and I can't catch up. What is it about the fall that makes everything speed up and get completely crazy?

I love this picture!! It's not very often that there is a picture that I know I will cherish for years. This is that picture. She is tube free, pain free, and she's one blue eyed creature that I am in love with.

Mia is still army crawling, and is in no hurry to travel in any other way. Out of nowhere she is chowing down on food that previously gagged her, AND she can sing her abc's- HA! Just making sure you were paying attention. She does have a few new words, "ba bye," "Ugh" for uh-oh and "gut'n" we don't know what that means- but it's cute.

She Just finally learned to clap!! Usually babies just pick it up- yes, yes, but I have been determined for months to get her to clap. I am not exaggerating. I clap for everything... maybe that is why it took so long. We play Pat-a-cake all the time and still nothing. In fact, when I would let go and continue to cheer she reverted right back to Ole'. I think I mentioned this... the crazy flailing of one arm while the other is held above her head. Now she can clap- I'm so proud :-)

Tomorrow I find out if she has reached 20 lbs... wish me luck!

The hospital called and scheduled her cath. I know she needs it done, but I just don't think I'm ready to hand her back. I have been trying not to think about it because it stresses me out. It's not that big of a deal... right? My goal is to not worry about it until we're closer to the date... I've never been very good at goals.

I have a lot of questions, but don't really want to know the answers yet. It's funny but she has already had one, and I've had one, but now that we have been home and she is our little crazy maniac I am terrified of any more sedation or procedures, or biopsies.

Do you remember the first time we were on the floor with Mia and I was daydreaming about just running out of the door with her? I wondered if security would chase me down? We were about to go home- in case you didn't read that and were thinking I was crazy. I have that same feeling when I think about her cath- can't I just keep her home?

Alright alright, I'll say it. I am terrified of.... blood clots.... there I said it. We know she already had a larger one from her first cath- remember the stroke scare? I am sure everything will be fine! I know I am not in control. I will post about it again when we get closer to the date. It is in November.

Schoolio

Mr. Big stuff Kindergarten-er. I can't believe he is in school! I just can't! He was more than ready to go, and had all school supplies arranged ever so meticulously for the weeks leading up to the big day. His favorite things so far: lunch- he really digs his lunch box, but is going to give hot lunch a go this week. He loves his teacher and absolutely loves show and tell.



Here he is walking in. I thought I would be sad... I wasn't. It was a happy moment. He was ready, I was ready... no tears. He did look back and give me a big smile, and in that moment I knew that things would be never be the same. I love this kid.


Because he turned 6 before school started he got to bring a treat for the class. He helped me make all the cupcakes, and I surprised him with the little happy birthday flags. He said, "ooh mom, that's fancy." Thanks son, I try. :-)



Elvis started preschool around the same time. No picture of the first day, but she sure hammed it up on harvest day.



Look mom... CORN! Ellie came home from harvest day and promptly picked our garden clean of all vegetables... except for the green tomatoes.



Enjoying the fruetts of her labor. OK she did the sweetest thing that day- I better document this so I can read back and remember what an angel she is, right? Those of you who know her can laugh... go ahead. Anyways, when we got home she arranged all of her loot on the table. She peeled both of the carrots and handed one to me and to Jense. I asked her why she didn't want one (the girl loves carrots) and she said: "I want both of you to get one." True story. I think her number one quality is generosity- she wants everyone to have something... even before herself. I was so proud of her- I ate my entire carrot and boy was it tasty!

One last thing to share before I publish. John and I have never been that great with taking the kids out one on one, but have done it more frequently lately. Of course the kids eat it up, and like to announce when it is a "mommy/Ellie" date or a "mommy/Jense" date. Sometimes I talk up a quick trip to the store and pass it off as a date- they don't know the difference. Last week we were on our way home from taking Jensen to school and this was our conversation:

Ellie: Mom
Me: Yeah
Ellie: Can we go on another date, just you and me?
Me: Sure
Ellie: Can we go to the last place we went? (We had gone to Dairy Queen)
Me: Which place?
Ellie: You know the ice cream place... the ice cream place where we ate the ice cream- and we got the hula hoops. The yummy hula hoops with the onions inside?

I love her interpretation of the onion ring- my kids have never eaten them before, and I can see how hula hoop fits just fine.

Little Hearts, Big Hearts, and Angel Hearts

A while back (Yes, estoy muy behind) we met up with fellow CHD kiddos for a picnic. Jesse and I ventured out with our heart babies, and despite all of the forces of the universe working against us- We made it! I was excited to see all the the heart families we have grown to love over the past year.

I was so happy to see many familiar faces- many of these faces only remember me from one exposure during Mia's wait. It was a few months into our stay at the hospital and I decided to go meet some other CHD families that met at the hospital once a month. I had no intention of falling apart in front of people I didn't know- but I knew they knew how I felt. Mia's line had come out-- AGAIN-- and it had been a terrible day. That day came rushing back to me as I saw their smiling faces. I felt silly knowing they saw me at such an emotional state, but was glad for them to meet Mia, and see that I was O.K. She was worth all of the tears!

Oh- and I this is what you get when you have a fixed lens and a group shot...not a good combination! Sorry to everyone who is cut off...if you read my blog :-) If you've been waiting for the reunion pics- get ready for many a photography mishap!



The pic on the right was our heart transplant picnic. It was neat to meet these families- the transplant kids are incredible! I loved hearing that some kids are taking swimming lessons, participating in sports, and giving THEMSELVES their medicine. So encouraging, and refreshing! I might have been a little over the top with asking people how they do things and why they use the drugs they do etc. I just cant get enough of finding out what my future might look like. I'm still a rookie!

The pic on the left- my heart home-girls. I stole this pic from Katie.

John and I attended a organ donation advocate appreciate dinner ( no pic). It was neat for me to meet the range of people that attended. I met organ recipients, family members of people waiting, donor families, and families of those who passed waiting. The evening was inspiring- and there is so much to be done to educate about organ donation. The most amazing part of the night for me was to meet a woman who lost her husband who then became a donor for many people. He saved so many. She now works for living legacy and is responsible for many registrations this year. She is amazing! One thing is for sure- there are young and old in need of organs- and it's humbling to see the look in the eyes of loved ones who are waiting for that call for someone they love. It's the look I'm sure my eyes could not hide. I am so grateful to our donor family- I love them!! I have a letter from our donor mom and if I get permission I will post a picture of Mia's darling heart angel!


This little sweet heart baby returned to Heaven. My heart is broken for their little family. His mother is amazing. She writes:
I prayed he would no longer have to suffer. . . and the Lord answered the prayer. I wish I could say that my peace outweighed my pain. It doesn't, but there is no bitterness. Just blessed to have had the MANY tender mercies that we had. We live and we learn. . . and quite truthfully, where else would you have your child be (if not with you) but in heaven awaiting celestial glory! He is now whole!

After learning of his passing I decided to team up with a local heart foundation to send out a care package for heart families that are faced with such heartache. I know nothing I can do will take away the pain, but I need to do something. It is still in the beginning stages, but will be up and running soon. If you have any suggestions as to what to include I would love some. email me. If you want to read about this sweet little baby click HERE


The best news of my month hands down was learning that this daddy and fellow CHD patient received a heart transplant. Paul grew up with the same doctors and nurses and I did, and he is one amazing musician. His story is inspiring and his blog will captivate you- it does me. This is for the few that don't read his blog already :-) Paul, I am so excited for your family! I am so grateful to your donor family- and ecstatic that you and Lynette get to raise that little girly together! It looks like you won't be the tin man for Halloween after all!

This about does it for heart news... for now.

Utah Take ONE

Thing ONE- Check out the hair on this girl. Mia loved her first vacation. The drive there was a beast, but we made it and no illness to speak of. As you can tell from this picture that Mia is quite the little ham. Her new nickname is "spaz"- because she goes a mile a minutes. No, she is not crawling yet, but if there were a prize for crawling minus the coordination she would earn it. Her arms go, her legs just don't quite follow. She pulls herself to a stand and will stand for a long time. Her favorite exercise is what we call "O'le" She raises one hand above her head palm up, then pats her tummy with the other hand. It is hilarious and we don't know where it came from, but she'll do it on demand. Her personality is so much fun and she is already our little jokester. When we ask her where a nose is... she will reach out with her index finger then right before touching someones noes she will pull it back quickly and just laugh and laugh. We love her!


Grandpa was hard at work and the kids were not far behind. Chores have never been so exciting!


Close to my sisters house is a fun little splash park. Ellie made some friends, and Mia could live in the water- she loves it.


Little cousin Abbicus/Abbs/Abracadabra She is darling, yes?


The "Zipper" club. When my dad first told me he was joining me in the "zipper" club we were on our way to school and I thought, "ok, sure dad, the zipper club- whatever floats your boat." I had no idea what he meant, and didn't give it much attention until it was brought to my attention again. Both my daddy and I have had the Ross procedure- you add a sweet little baby with an angel heart and voila- ZIPPER CLUB. More Z club pictures to come.




Mom to Abbs, and my older sis Raegan. Our time was too short- and let's be honest we were getting ready for the reunion most of the time I was there! I took all of about five pictures- some of these picture are compliments of the Sellers. Suzie's sweet baby Sydney was blessed while we were there- again, pictures to come.

Yes, that is a heart monitor- and no it does not shock me. Ever since the news about my heart I have been experiencing some chest pain. I am no stranger to chest pain, but for some reason it just hurts more and longer. It's a funny thing, that human nature. I feel like now that I've been "diagnosed" my little heart is thinking... "now that you mention it- I am going to poop out." Maybe I am just more aware of the pain now that it has been brought to my attention- who knows. It is the culprit for why I am really behind in my blogging. Birthday, blessing, reunion, camp-outs, and first day of kindergarten all waiting in the wings.

It Just might be time to retire those socks...

From across the room Jensen's socks looked a little off. Mimi is really good at filtering through the clothes and storing the ones he grows out of, but it seems that we missed this particular pair of socks, 4 YEARS STRAIGHT!! I will say that it is satisfying to know that we got our money out of that investment.

Dancerellie

This face! Ellie took a few dance classes this year. She loves to dance, but mostly loves to dress up for dance.

Last year I did a post about the dance recital, but never got the video going. To get a glimpse into her personality watch this video from last year ( I edited most of it). You'll know which mouse she when you watch it. She cracks me up!

!


Yes, that is me up there as large as the house in the background! This was two days before little Mees came into our lives. All three girls up there on stage...well sorta. I wonder if that will ever happen again? Ellie was in my friend Jen's class but she moved to Costa Rica right before the recital. She left me some note cards with the dance steps on them, and this was my interpretation. I had actually watched the dance plenty before, but I spent class time talking to doctors and specialists... so... I don't know if got it right on or not.


John and I get a kick out of turning on any type of music and just watching her go. I need to video that! The other night when we were watching SYTYCD- she was mimicking as many of the moves as she could. She gets so into it and takes it so seriously. If I can catch the right dance it will be a great entry for funniest videos.

These are her "pretty fingers"... pretty sure she stole this from Napoleon!



I LOVE this picture of her and my daddy! He calls her spitfire- and she calls him... spitfire too. They are quite the pair

A taste of Midway

I grew up in literally the best place on earth! Midway Utah. Let's be honest, if you know where Midway is- you'll mostly likely agree with me.

Midway is a small town tucked just west of Heber City, and is best known for it's rich Swiss culture. As a little girl I would walk to town square just to see the Glockenspiel that went off every half hour. I remember counting how often it rotated before it went back inside. If you don't know what I'm talking about- sorry. It is a Swiss clock thing much like a cuckoo clock just with rotating wooden figures and loud yodeling. When the post office was part of the same building I would have my dad wait so we could see it. The excitement eventually wore off and I can't remember the last time I saw it. I don't know if it even goes off anymore. Midway residents, is it still alive and kicking? When I was home this past week Midway hadn't changed that much, except for a new church and the fact that there was a turn lane when I went to turn onto my old street. I am sure there are other changes, but for the most part it looked exactly the same as it did a few years ago. I miss Midway.

Ok, to the point- this weekend is SWISS DAYS!! Have you heard of it? If you live in Utah you truly should go- it will be worth your time. Swiss days goes hand in hand with the town of Midway. You learn at a young age the importance of Swiss days when you take field trips there. One of my first memories of Swiss days was spending hours in the tennis courts where they had all of the kid games. Later as a youth I ran those games, until later when I got my license to pound the kraut. There is something for everyone at Swiss days!

What was it for me, you ask?

Two things:

#1- BRAZELI'S!!

Brazeli's are a paper thin Swiss cookie that taste like heaven. They are made in a iron much like a flat waffle iron, but specific enough that you cannot re create it's glory without one. I have come pretty close with my pazzelle iron that my mom gave me for Christmas last year. If you're feeling loaded you can purchase a Brazeli iron HERE. But, for A LOT less you can get a pazzelle iron and then try this recipe:

Ingredients:
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 egg, beaten
2 tsp. cinnamon (Heaping tsp that is)
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
2 tsp. lemon or almond extract (or try a little of each)
4 cups all-purpose flour

Instructions:

Cream together butter, sugars, and eggs, add cream.
Combine dry ingredients and add to butter mixture.
You may need to add additional flour to make a soft dough that you can form into a ball. Refrigerate overnight.
Form into balls about the size of walnuts and press in iron.

Serve them plain or with ice cream.
You could also make them into a cookie bowl by placing over a cup when they are hot.


CHECK me out!! I posted a recipe on my blog!! I have been meaning to post some recipes - I come very a foody family, but my kids always give recipes the boot.

and #2... drum roll... SWISS TACO (said slowly with a head nod)


Recipe anyone? Ok- here it is- it is pretty basic. The KEY ingredient is the scone. Now, a scone in midway is different from other scones you may be thinking of. This scone is yummy delicious fry bread- not a small triangular dessert served with jam. If you live in the NW, you could equate it to an elephant ear only more substantial. The picture is from the last time I made them- how handy that I have a picture taking problem! Mine is not even close to appetizing compared to the real deal.

1 1/2 lbs. ground beef
1/2 med. onion
2 cans enchilada sauce, hot or mild
1 med. can tomato sauce
1 can re fried or kidney beans
1 lb. grated cheese
1 head lettuce, chopped
2-3 tomatoes, chopped
1 lg. onion, chopped
1 sm. can taco sauce

INDIAN FRY BREAD:

4 c. flour
1 tbsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 c. warm water

Fry ground beef with onion, but do not brown. Add sauce and beans and simmer for 1/2 hour. For the Indian Fry Bread, mix the dry ingredients together well. Add water, mixing into a smooth ball. Break off a portion and pat into a large patty or roll out. Fry in hot oil. Top bread with sauce. Then add grated cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion. Add taco sauce sparingly.

Well, this isn't the Swiss taco recipe, but it is pretty similar. If you are reading this blog and you are going to work in the Swiss taco booth- fill me in on the True recipe. Then I will share with all of you! Swiss taco's are topped with slices of tomatoes- and I'm sure the sauce is different.

I am so hungry thinking about them. They have gone up in price over the years, but well worth it. Chances are you will have to wait in a long line to get one of these, but you will not be disappointed.

Besides the food, the town square is filled to the brim with booths loaded with charming merchandise. For years I always came home with a wooden helicopter toy- maybe that vendor is still there. I have some Christmas ornaments, a few outdated home decorations, and some jewelry... all purchased at Swiss days. The celebration is fun and you will see plenty of people running around in Lederhosen. If you catch the parade, don't be alarmed when the noise that comes from the alphorn isn't quite what you expected.

I haven't been to Swiss days for a few years, but last time I was the bulk of the entertainment is performed in the middle of the square in a white gazebo, the same gazebo I played in for hours upon hours as a young girl. I always imagined myself as the Swiss miss- doing a little dance. I was never crowned Swiss miss, but spent plenty of time pretending I was.

Midway is wonderful- I love it! I can't believe I missed Swiss days by only a couple days! Stinkin school system! Next year my kids will just have to start late! A girl can only go so long without revisiting a major part of her childhood.

Don't forget to get a Swiss taco- and take a picture of you eating it so that I can be be happy that someone is enjoy it! Oh, and the Brazelis are located at the relief society booth, but don't wait because they ALWAYS run out. Eat one for me- sniff sniff.

Sister Bond

Sometimes I am reminded by my children what a difficult experience the last year was for them. I believed that when we were all home together, the sadness and worry would disappear. It has for the most part, but now again they voice their concern.

Last night while I was lying with Ellie during bedtime she said the sweetest thing. It's no secret that Ellie has a gravitational pull toward her little sister, and wants to be with her at all times, but this was too cute.

Elle: Mom, can Mia sleep with me.
Me: No, not tonight honey.
Elle: I really really want her to sleep with me though
Me: I know, maybe someday you two can share a room
Elle: Can we share a room tonight?
Me: Not tonight, but you can snuggle her in my bed tomorrow morning. (Ellie's morning routine)
Elle: I will hold onto her like this (wrapping her arms around me)- this stems from the million other times she has asked if Mia could sleep in her bed and me telling her no because she will roll off.

Me: I know, but sometimes when we sleep we might let go.
Elle: Mom, I won't let go... please?
Me: You really like your siss huh?
Elle: Yeah, and I want her to sleep with me
Me: Maybe when she's a little older
Elle: Mom, is Mia gonna go away?
Me: Nope.
Elle: We get to keep her for a long time?
Me: Yes, a long long time
Elle: Can we keep her as long as the guy in the field? (I have no idea what that meant-maybe she saw an elderly man in a field somewhere.)
Me: Sure.
Elle: Mom, when Mia is a little old lady can I still keep her?
Me: Yes, you can still keep her.

That's what I call dedication

Jense really likes T-ball, so much so, that he gets ready the night before. Love this kid!


Jense running to soccer- He has had so much fun this summer doing swimming, soccer, and T-ball. Is it just the first kid thing or is it unique that he always packs his own water bottle and snack? I couldn't get Ellie to pack her own stuff if I tried. I love the dynamic that this little boy brings to our family.

It is sad that he will be in school and I won't have my #1 helper anymore. He is sooo excited for kindergarten and is very proud of the fact that he will be the oldest. Missing the deadline by one day was a blessing in disguise for us during this past year.

I will save all of my rantings about this kid for his birthday post!

Baby Animal

This is my baby animal, in her natural habitat. I could eat her up!!!

*Mia's nursery was painted by miss princess pookie. The room is darling- thanks JoDee! I had so many wonderful friends getting my house all fancy and sparkling clean while I was in the hospital. I haven't taken picture of it, but I love my house!! Thanks guys!!

One last thing before I go... actually one last picture to share...



Mees taking a stand! She's not quite ready to attempt it solo, but still- she's standing.


UPDATE:
One of Mia's heart brothers who needed a heart/lung transplant returned back to heaven. We will miss your smiling face Bridger!!

WHIDBEY

For the 4th (yes over a month ago) we took a ferry ride up to Whidbey Island. My mom grew up on the island and every time I go up there I wonder why I don't pack up and move there myself. It is quite charming with all of the open fields, blue ocean, rolled hay, and homemade jam for sale signs in front of quaint little houses. It is like an entirely different world up there. My aunt and uncle live just a few miles from my grandmothers house. Their property is the home to every type of plant known to man (or that will grow in the NW. When you pull into their drive way you cannot see anything through the millions of plants most of which is bamboo. If you are wondering how many different types of bamboo there are... I will tell you, the varieties are endless. Many a bamboo can be found at their house, growing in abundance taller than I can reach. The bamboo is just the beginning...there are fruit trees in rows like an orchard, a pond, a massive garden, and flowers everywhere. It is a horticulturists haven, and every time I leave I swear to myself that I am going to try harder at being a better gardener. They (Brian and Ellen) even water all of their plants by hand!!



Down the road? Why the ocean of course. The greatest thing about the beaches on Widbey is that no one is EVER there. I maybe see one or two other people during my visits. The shoreline goes for as far as you can see, and there is not a sole in site. I tried my hand and finding some agates, but was unsuccessful as usual.



Camera Wars with my uncle Brian.



Jense with his signature walking stick. He seems to find a big stick every time we are out doors.



She's mad at the ocean



The ocean got mad back. The tide is so unpredictable...luckily my uncle was right there when Ellie almost got pulled in. She wasn't worried about her wet clothes, just her crab.



Rick and Lani enjoying a moment together



Ellie will fix that! She didn't let Rick out of her sight!

I spent the day taking photos, eating as much food as I possible could, and forcing feeding the babe. The kids stayed busy playing hide and go seek with my cousins, picking up crabs, throwing rocks, hunting for jelly fish, not leaving uncle rick's side, (Ellie) and lighting fireworks.

All of my mother's siblings were there except for one, and it was so great to see them all and to have them meet Mia. It was a wonderful escape for our family, and we even came home with a planter full of bamboo. Thank you so much Brian and Ellen for a fantastic 4th of July! We loved it!!

Has it been six or seven?... I forget

SEVEN! SEVEN YEARS! That's a whole lotta years!

pictures as promised of what my man pulled off on our anniversary. This is what I saw on my way to church last week.




I really like the warning behind the anniversary sign. DETOUR AHEAD!

When I was taking the picture and read Happy Anniversary Mimi- my eyes were immediately drawn to the detour ahead sign. I wondered if he had placed it there on purpose. Hasn't he had enough detours lately? This family knows a thing or two about curve balls.

Our anniversary was spent much like this one, minus the cafeteria food. My expectations of what celebrating a anniversary is- have taken a detour. Here's to Seven years!! I definitely have to agree with this sign-

Check IT

Mia is doing GREAT!!!

We went to her appointment and the word I kept hearing to describe Mia was FABULOUS. Her echo was FABULOUS, she looked FABULOUS, and her numbers for the most part were FABULOUS.

The most exciting part of the visit besides dropping off some m&m's with Mia's face on it to all of her nurses, was the fact that she gained weight! HALLELUJAH! That pretty much gives me the green light to keep doing what I'm doing with her feeds. The nutritionist gave me a list of high calorie foods to feed her. It's safe to say that I really like all the food on that list. Yesterday I put whipping cream in her bottle...mmmm...whipping cream! She LOVES avocados, and creamy soups.

Her potassium level was high and her white blood cells where still low, so we were able to drop another drug!!!

Now she is only on her rejection drugs and Dapsone! LIFE IS SO GREAT! I realize that I am over using exclamation points...apologies. We almost got rid of the Dapsone until the doc realized she needs it until twelve months post transplant and not 12 years old. So hopefully in November she will only have her anti-rejection medication.

When we left the hospital we met up with Katie and Maddie and Katie's momma who is GREAT! She made Mia a quilt when we were in the ICU- it is her cupcake quilt and we love it! Someday we are going to have a girls weekend and "nannie" is gonna watch all the heart girls while we go relax!! That will be a good day! For now we will keep meeting up on clinic day- it was great to see you guys...hopefully you survived the heat!

Mia's little owie is all healed up- and she is doing something different everyday it seems (besides falling on her face). Her newest hobby (one that I am not so crazy about) is hair pulling. She will be crawling in no time with the arm strength she has acquired from pulling on my hair. She pulls on Ellie's too, but it doesn't faze her in the slightest. Elvis doesn't feel pain and never has- it's bizarre.

She is now a three word baby, "mama", "dat" (dad), and "ba-ba" She's quite chatty and still the biggest flirt- especially with hospital personnel. The other day John said, "Mia is always looking for an excuse to smile!" It is so true. She really is ready to smile at just about anything. It's darling and I want to freeze her in time before we have to tickle her and work to get those smiles. She has received a lot of mail box love from many of her fans. Mia is so spoiled! I suppose she deserves it for now anyway :-) Thank you so much for the amazing gifts that have been sent to her for her birthday- We are so touched and so thankful!

Just curious if anyone has used this product before? The Germinator is one of the products in the BabyGanics line that I hear calling my name. It is Alcohol Free!!! They use Benzalkonium Chloride as the germ killing agent. Now that Mia wants her hands on EVERYTHING- I'm doing a little research. If you've tried this out or any of the household products let me know what you think.

Oh, and just to set the record straight--- I FLUSH THE TOILET! John likes to mess with me, and I guess that is what I get for giving him access to this blog. I did however veto his last "baby moma" post... he didn't know what that means. Bless his heart. It had to go- hopefully none of you read it before I found out he had posted it. Despite his anniversary post blunder he did do something super sweet for our anniversary. Pictures coming soon.

Backfire

I like to horse around with the kids, like all dads do. Mimi thinks I tow the line a little bit...it's possible the I haven't completely grown up myself I suppose. For quite some time Mimi has been telling me that some of my techniques will backfire on me. When I hollered to Jensen to fetch me a towel yesterday and he showed up with a small handtowel, I had to smile. I dried off with it and tried to be a good sport since he had done the same when I presented him with his handtowel the previous day. His little smirk on his face was priceless, payback. I actually get a kick out of it when he gets me back. On other occasions I am the recipiant of a very stealthy "wet-willy," oh and Jensen will lick his lips and give mimi a "wet kiss." The wet kiss is usually aimed at Mimi, which is nice becuase who wants to be supprised by a slobbery, cold and wet kiss.
The other night I was praying with the kids and Ellie had snuck behind me and snapped me with one of those kid flossers right on the back fat. You know the ones I am talking about, the plastic aligator flossers?? Well, they have perfected the snap technique. I have also been impressed with the kids teamwork skills. The other day Jensen came and distracted me (a decoy) so Ellie could launch an all out assault whilst I was anawares. It was impressive. Never have I been so bested by four and five year olds. There have been some habits that are undesireable though. When Mimi was gone staying with Mia at the Hospital, I let the kids sleep with me. Well, to be honest, I would scoop them up from their beds and put them in with me cuz it was kinda lonely. Now they think that they can come and go during the night as they please. I sleep very soundly, and enjoy a good snuggle so this is fine with me, but poor meems wakes up when a flee farts. I can sleep like a baby with Ellie crashed out directly on top of me, while Mimi can't sleep if you are touching her with your little toe. I think maybe the worst of all though is the bum smelling. You heard it right. It all started so innocently you see. I would pretend to be smelling a stinky diaper and yell, "Stinky!" and the kids would laugh and howl. Before you know it, the kids are sticking their nose right in everyones bum and filling their lungs while shouting how stinky it is. We have righted this problem, but every now and again there is a relapse and a bum is smelled. You can imagine how Mimi is a little miffed about this. But, I suppose I can attribute a few things to her. I think she can claim clogged toilets. There are a multitude of techniques that are employed to prevent successful flushage. Two techniques come to my mind as the most effective though. First, is to just unload insane amounts of toilet paper into the orrafice. The favored technique is to use the toilet multiple times without a single flush till dad gets home. This has proven to be a foolproof technique. It really is a good system, since dad can just make his plunging rounds each day after work. It's just part of life, like doing the dishes or taking the trash out.

Road Rash Baby

One bumbo chair + one air mattress + one sweet baby + the great outdoors = ROAD RASH

Mia's first unintentional Owie! Poor baby!

Special Delivery

She's back at it again...

What did she deliver to six or so neighbors you ask?

Why, baggies full of gold fish of course.

What did she deliver to our neighbors that moved out a month ago?

See for yourself.

mmmm- tasty!!


I encourage her generosity, but a gallon of milk might be taking it too far. I knew I had one more gallon! I guess next time I'll ask the kids when something goes missing- chances are it is on the door step of our neighbors house. I wonder what she would have said had they been home.

Would it be too revealing if I told you that the gallon of milk is still there? I see it every time I walk home from the park and tell myself I am going to dispose of it when I put the baby down. he he (nervous laugh) - I will, tomorrow, er soon. The thought of what it will smell like is enough to keep me procrastinating.

I suppose since no one is living there it isn't harming anyone- just warding off potential buyers. We are on the official "you don't want this house" campaign. Because, hopefully soon our new neighbors will be the Eugenios! House warming gift perhaps? Lucky you! They have been waiting for their paperwork to go through for what seems like FOREVER!

Mark, Emily, Tanner- we really REALLY miss you guys! SYTYCD just isn't the same without you! The only silver lining of you moving clear across the country is having family members move in. Rest assured that Elvis is still ringing your doorbell and leaving you all sorts of loveliness on your front porch! You're probably glad you moved huh?

Anyone know any good ideas of what to do with ultra nasty milk? Hair treatment maybe? Plant fertilizer? There has to be something. or not. disposal it is!

Get Ready to SCROLL

She's 1!!! She maybe toothless, and a tad on the not going anywhere anytime soon plan... BUT SHE'S 1! I am enamored by this baby... she is the happiest little thing!

The Birthday girl had a wonderful day. She slept in until 9, ate as much whipped topping as she wanted, decided not to nap, and celebrated her birthday with so many who love her.

It was the perfect party! I had been looking forward to this day for over a year. There is too much to say (so I'll spare you) about the emotion of the day...it was overwhelming.

A huge thank you to my parents, and to uncle Rye and Megan for taking pictures, to Beebs, Annalisa, and Laurie for all their help, and the decorating crew (those pesky polka dots), and to everyone who brought food- it was nummy num!

I couldn't be more pleased with her party- I loved it!!! I am sad that Mia's heart sister who was on her way had to turn back due to illness- we missed you Maddie and Katie, but 2 will be here before we know it.

There are a lot of pictures I didn't make happen, (like Mia with her heart buddy Luke) but here are some pictures that pretty much sum up the party.




Birthday girl with her daddy and Grandma



Birthday girl with her momma, "Nana", and "Papa"



The party girls Ellie and Karissa-



Birthday girl with her momma opening her gifts. She loved the tissue paper, and just wanted it in her mouth! She received many lovely gifts including a lot of books, (she loooves books) this one is from her heart buddy and cousin Gav.



Three of the six sister in laws that were there, and the above mentioned Gav



Getting ready for my birthday wish



Not a big fan of a large group of people singing to me



Ok, the singing stopped- now, I can dig in



The older sister



A little bottle action..still not taking enough while I'm awake.



The last piece of the yummy cake



The party Favors



The passer-outer



Wagon Rides


Thank you to everyone who came, and for the wonderful gifts! Also, thanks to our online friends who left her some birthday wishes.

It's never a good sign when the Dr. walks in

with a heart diagram.

Have you ever played the game "luckily/unluckily?" John's family introduced me to this game during one of the annual family camp outs.

Here goes:

I haven't been to see my heart doctor for a year and a half...

luckily we have insurance until the end of the month
unluckily I would need to be seen asap because those appointments get expensive
luckily I called the office and made an appointment
unluckily he was actually in town at his satellite office TODAY and now I would have to drive over to his main office.
luckily she had a cancellation, and asked if I could be there in five minutes
unluckily I was in my pj's
luckily I live really close and figured looking presentable could take a back seat
unluckily I left without eating anything and was starving
luckily when I got there I got to catch up with the nurse and forgot about my hunger
unluckily she told me I need to make an appointment for Elle too
luckily the doctor only needs to listen to her heart so I can take her next time I go
unluckily during my echo my stomach kept growling
luckily the tech was really friendly and told me all about his recent proposal to lovely fiance
unluckily he didn't speak loud enough to disguise my noisy belly
luckily I don't think he noticed
unluckily after my echo my cardiologist walked in with a HEART DIAGRAM
luckily he told me not to panic
unluckily he told me there was some bad news
luckily he started with the good news that the valves are doing great
unluckily the tissue around the native valve is dilating- it's called aortic root dilation
luckily I have a knack of laughing off bad news when it comes to my heart
unluckily it's not funny at all
luckily if I felt like crying it would have been fine because he is no stranger to me crying while looking at his infamous heart diagram.
unluckily he is the doctor that has to keep telling me things I don't want to hear
luckily he doesn't enjoy having bad news every time we meet
unluckily I had to have the following dialogue to understand what was going on...

Me: So.... what is the number that it could rupture?
Dr. 5.5-6.0
Me: So.... if it ruptures, then there is no recovering from that?
Dr. It's not like a heart attack
Me: So....if it ruptures I die?
Dr. Yeah

luckily it is not dilated enough to need surgery yet
unluckily it is only .4 away from needing surgery
luckily there have been huge advancements in this area with medication
unluckily it might not have a huge impact
luckily we are going to give it a try
unluckily I now have to take medication for the REST OF MY LIFE... sound familiar?
luckily it only costs $8!
unluckily I am not a medicine taker
luckily I've accepted (sell sort of) my heart problems and will do what it takes
unluckily I took my first pill at 2:00 and felt really dizzy
luckily I got to take a nap
unluckily I still felt ill after I woke up
luckily my body should get used to it...eventually
unluckily my heart is sick
luckily this family is made of stone
unluckily this family has been put through the ringer this year


That was my day today! A big fat Thumbs Down!!!

After I talked to my dad today he told me he has the same thing as a result of his Ross procedure. My dad, Mia, and I are all in the "zipper club." His nick name for me has always been "Joe." Today I am feeling a little more like Job, than Joe.

*pictures of big birthday coming soon...when I stop feeling dizzy :-)

The Count Down is ON!

I can't believe that in a few days my little Miss Mia will be 1!! WE MADE IT! I am busy busy planning her polka dot party, but I wanted to post an invitation to all of you to leave a comment if you have followed her story.

Some day I will print all of your comments and include them in her baby book- or at least a blurb. I want her to know all of the wonderful people that cared and prayed for her. Her introduction into this world was, well, a rough one. It would have been way more difficult without all of you. I promise this post won't be another "thank you" post, but knowing so many people cared about her really encouraged us! I have met people that knew of Mia without knowing who I am. "Mia's mom" has been my identity this past year- and I'll take it! I am so proud to be her mommy and couldn't love her more if I tried.

Don't be shy! Even if you have never left a comment before- feel free to now. One day when she is looking through all of her baby pictures from her first year, (the sad ones) she will also be reading about how so many loved and supported her. She truly is our little miracle and it has been our pleasure to share her story.

Check back in a few days for birthday photos and to see her "surprise."

A little Dip

Mia lost a few percentages this week. Other than her demotion to the 3rd percentile for weight... her apt was FABULOUS. We ran into Mia's Heart sister Karlee and mommy Devon. We love seeing all of the babies that have come so far from when we were all living in the hospital.

Oh and YES- Mia is still eating in her sleep. She is averaging about 23 oz per day. We need to go back to the nutritionist because so much has changed, I mean, I keep changing everything! I am curious however, (because I have never had to be so preoccupied with numbers) how much does a typical 1 year old drink? Mia does take baby food too, usually about 1/2 to 3/4 jars of baby food twice a day. Baby food is a lot of empty calories, but we need to get her moving in the solid direction. So... if you have a 1 year old or thereabouts (I like that word)- how many ounces do they drink?

I know Mia has different needs, but I feel like we are pretty close to where they want her, and I don't want to put her tube back in when she is soooo close. We are on Day 8!! Can you believe it? I think I will fortify her formula to see if we can't boost her up to where everyone is happy with her weight.

We're still battling some blood count levels, and if they don't resolve we may be facing a transfusion...but I keep words like "transfusion" at bay.

Happy 4th of July!!

*picture taken by the adorable Morgan who came along with me to the hospital to deliver a batch of blankets she made for the ICU patients. Thanks "Lorgan"

Day 4?

Mia is on Day 3 of eating on her OWN!!! YAY!!! Do we think she will make it to day 4? Close your eyes and say a little prayer that she keeps it out FOR GOOD.

Before she started the whole fever extravaganza she had been tubeless for three days. When she got sick she wanted nothing to do with the bottle. Now we are trying again. If she goes until tomorrow it will be 4 DAYS!!! It's funny how exciting something like getting your infant to eat can be. I pretty much feel like I've landed on the moon. She is doing awesome! She does take a large percentage of the volume while she is sleeping, but WHO CARES. She really gulps it down in her sleep, so I run with that. When she starts teething I will have to re-think that...not a big fan of giving my babies a bottle at night. I think it is hilarious that she will turn one and have ZERO teeth. It would be nice for her to cut some teeth because she is obsessed with mommy's food, but gags on the smallest morsel.

That's pretty much it! Just had to blog about our New Record... go Mia go!

Oh and yes, it's true- I am officially working for my man (although he calls me his partner). MOVE OVER Etsy I'm selling cars. Yes, you can fly here, get a car at the auction, VISIT ME, and drive it home. The auction is really fast paced- they run the cars through so quickly. I have seen some buyers get screaming deals...it's crazy!

Anyway- it's probably the last thing anyone who knows me thought I would be doing, but I'm doin it!

That about does it for new things at our house... Cars and eating.

Capital Auto Sales

Mimi & I are Bonafide auto dealers. We are licensed and good to go. This is one thing we have decided to do in order to make some money to pay for our new bills and so far we have had a lot of fun learning about the process and have quite a few people that have shown interest in purchasing a car. The great part is that Mimi can bid on the cars from the comfort of her reclining leather couch. She bids on the cars online since I work during the day. This has worked well, Mimi has always been a whiz on the computer. This beauty above was our first purchase and we have fun driving it around town. Too bad it will have to go. We picked it up for a song & I thought this would be a nice car to sell since many different folks would feel comfortable behind the wheel. From Gangsters to grocery getter's, this car just seems to work. You don't believe me? Ice Cube was driving one in that movie "Are we There Yet?"
All in all I am seeing how I can save some folks some good money. Let me know when you want to put in your order...

MAYBE MIA

My Friend Rebecca's daughter has always called Mia, "Maybe Mia." I love her interpretation of "Baby Mia!" Thanks Rebecca for all of these fabulous pictures of Mia... here are a few maybe Mia's of today.

Maybe Mia will be breaking hearts right and left
Maybe Mia will be a goof ball like her parents.
Maybe Mia will learn blow kisses for real.
Maybe Mia will someday have a new best friend besides her NG
Maybe Mia will have hair that wisps out on both sides
Maybe Mia will get to go swimming someday.
Maybe Mia will get to take a nap soon.
Maybe Mia will drink enough of her bottle to go tubeless
Maybe Mia will be a bottle drinking ballerina
Maybe Mia will let her H O T hot daddy feed her that bottle.