Oct 19, 2008
I got an email from my friend suggesting I write down everything I am grateful for. Well, pertaining to Mia. She must have known that I needed to spend more time thinking about how blessed I am.
1)Mia, her little baby self.
2)Her name, today someone asked me my name. "Mimi, I replied." "and you named your daughter Mia?" They thought that was unusual. With a big grin and slow response I said," Yes" In Spanish her name means mine. I have never wanted anything more than I want to bring her home with me.
3)Her spunk. The first week after she was born, we found her holding one of the leads in the air for the nicu nurse. Obviously it attached to her hand by chance, and babies hands are always flailing, but it was her way of showing us her sassiness.
4)Her smell. Babies have the yummy smell- and we like to lather her up in lavender lotion. And one of her many nick names is "mmm tasty" -her initials are MMM.
5)Her ability to beat the odds. Mia's heart is enormous (for her body) both sides are so dilated, but she continues amaze us.
6)Her eyes. She has spent a majority of her time awake staring back at me. Sometimes I feel like if she could talk she would say. "What's up mom... what are we doing today?" Her eyes say so much about her, and I feel her spirit so strongly when she is looking at me.
7)Mia's cry. Every time I hear her cry, my heart melts. I am happy that she is protesting everything that is happening, but I am sad that she has to.
8)Her new heart. I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about her new heart. It makes me so sad, and I feel like until I am faced with that reality I won't have to internalize it. I am so grateful for her new heart that will come. I am grateful for the parents of the baby who will give Mia her new heart. Grateful that they said yes. Grateful for how that little baby will be a part of me, mia, and my family.
9)Her sweet hands that wrap around my finger.
10)Her extreme back arch. Mia loves to be arched back (like Ariel). She would sit like that all day if I would allow it.
11)Her hair. Some of it is still there ;-) she has a cowlick on the left side. I am excited to see it grow in.
12)Mia's sad face. She can make a perfect frown. It's not a pout- her lips can form a true frown and her eyes close. I love it!
13)Her smile- I did see it. That was a tender mercy for sure.
14)Her intense attachment to her binki. She sucks away so vigorously. It is reassuring because some day she will be able to actually get some food and will definitely have the muscles for it.
15)Her way of making my heart happy every time I walk into her cicu room.
16)Her distaste for her the blood pressure cuff and thermometer.
17)Her ability to draw a crowd. Many of her nurses love to come in and check on her because they know her so well.
18)I am grateful for her current heart that is working so hard. It is working over time all the time. Mia's current heart has pretty much been in "cardio" mode since she was born. her heart is working so much that she burns off all the calories we try to give her.
19)I am grateful for the rest of her body that is tolerating all of the medicine.
20) I am grateful I am able to hold her for hours at a time. That she can hear my voice and feel of my love for her.
20)I am grateful she is my daughter- and that Heavenly Father sent her to John and I.
I know many of you feel emotionally attached to little Mia. So many of you have been so involved with her progress. I can't begin to explain my gratitude for everyone who has prayed for sweet Mia. She has become such a source of spirituality for so many. I am grateful for the good she has brought into my life, and the greater knowledge I now have of the atonement. Such a tiny spirit has given me an entire new perspective on life. My life will never be the same.