Nov 8, 2008

4 Months Today

It's true. She is four months old today. Fun or no fun, the expression "time flies" does not apply here. I feel like Mia was born years ago. Last night I was thinking about how different my life was four months ago. When we were in the hospital waiting for Mia to enter this world, we had no idea how things would play out. I knew it was going to be a rough road, but all of my fears were about post transplant. Can she go to school? Can she play sports? Can she have babies of her own? All of these questions have been put on the back burner. I really was not anticipating the torture of watching her day after day working so hard...clinging to life...waiting for that second chance. Lately I have been soothing her (she does not appreciate the breathing tube) by holding my hand on her chest. It's incredible to feel her heart. Her heart seems so close to the skin, you can actually feel the muscle vibrating. Every time I feel her heart I am reassured by how much it is working. Her heart is working so hard... working every second of every day to keep her here.

There are times I wish I could flash back to four months ago, and enjoy the peace. How different my life was, easier...but not better. Mia and her fight have brought me to a place in my life, that now that I know what I know, I can never go back to the person I was before. Life as I knew it is gone, and will stay gone. The heartache is real, the hope is real- both levels of which I have never known until Mia.

Sometimes I feel like life needs to stand still, that everyone needs to stop what they're doing and realize the magnitude of what is happening to her. Why is everyone still enjoying life? Don't they know? Mia is stuck right where she is, unknowing of how wonderful life can be. Since her birth so much has happened outside of the hospital. Athletes have won metals at the Olympics. There is a now a new president of the united states. Historical events continue to occur, life continues for everyone...while one tiny baby has no choice but to wait.

This girl could not possibly be more of an inspiration to all around her. She has proven that miracles do occur. We love this little girl- and look forward to the day when she be able to come home with her family. I know all of your prayers are keeping her strong. Please continue to pray for her. You made it FOUR months Mia! We Love you so much!

24 comments:

TheBastians said...

Happy Birthday, Mia! A true inspiration to us all! An ANGEL!!

Abbs said...

Happy Birthday little Mia. You have never met me but you have already touched my life. There hasn't been a day that has gone by since I heard your story that I don't think about you. You've been so strong! Keep fighting. We're fighting for you!!

Simmons Family: said...

Happy 4Months Mia!! I PRAY that your new heart will come soon!! We have a baby boy (9mo) with HLHS and were just told he'd need a transplant. We have time on our side, the choices to pick hospitals to go to, even to be listed in different regions... and I am still PETRIFIED!!

I am strengthened by your courage and faith. Mia has been fighting so long and I PRAY that her miracle will come SOON so that you can have her home where she belongs. I'm so happy you got to hold her again. Our longest has been 1 week that we haven't held our son and it was the worst week of my life.

PRAYERS, PRAYERS, and more PRAYERS!!!

Heart Hugs from AZ,
Andrea

Katie said...

After getting a grip from the tears, I want you to know how much Mia has touched my life. She brings a new definition to HOPE and FAITH for me. She is such a fighter and her 4 months on this earth have changed more people than most will touch in their lifetime. You are such a blessing too, Mimi. I can't wait until I see you in person and can give you a big hug. Happy 4 months beautiful girl!
Lots of love to you,
Katie

Brenda said...

A beautiful post. Thanks for sharing your feelings so openly with us.

Erin said...

Mimi that was beautiful! Thank your for sharing these thoughts with us, and helping us understand a little better the magnitude of the last 4 months to you and your family. Mia has already changed the world, how lucky and proud you must be to be her momma! Love you!

help baby mia said...

oh mimi, you always make me cry!you both are such an inspiration to so many! so much good has come of this and i know it will get better and mia will be home in time! love you both!

Amanda-The Family News! said...

Happy 4 months Mia! We are all praying for your new heart and for you to get better soon. MUCH love and MANY prayers!!!!!
Amanda- SC

Amy said...

Your little angel has taught a lot of people what faith and hope means.
Thanks for sharing your story.

The Eggett Family said...

Happy 4 Months to the strongest, bravest, sweetest, prettiest, life changing baby ever!!! She is an absolute angel and so so patient with everything she's going through. Mimi you are the strongest, bravest, sweetest, prettiest and most inspirational Mom I know. Like Mother like Daughter I guess. I love you both and continue to pray for you. Hang in there Meems, you are amazing! Hold on Baby Mimi, your heart will come.

Crystal said...

Mia you have touched soo many lives. I know I appreciate so many things after reading your blog. What a difference this little angel has made. Mimi Thank-You for sharing your journey with us. Happy Birthday Mia. Heavenly Father has sent you to a special family. You are blessed. We love you and will continue to include you in our prayers

Love The Coatneys

Baseballs and Tutu's said...

Happy Birthday Mia!!

Mimi: I wish I could do something for you..for Mia. Something other than pray...something that would make a difference and make Mia better and healthy NOW. My heart just breaks for her. How I wish I were rich :) There is nothing more that I would rather do than just find a heart somewhere in this world that would work for her and get it. I think Mia touches me even more because of my precious Allie that was born five months ago. I want for you to know that Mia has changed my life and the way I view everything. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about all of you. May God heal Mia...may a heart be found and quickly given to your precious baby girl. May she come home as fast as possible so that we can see her laugh and play each day!

May God bless you for all you are to Mia...she is incredibly lucky to have such a loving mother who is there for her no matter what and how blessed you are for having Mia...she is absolutely beautiful!

Riley Family said...

Hurray for Baby Mia! You are doing good girl. Keep fighting, your new heart will be here soon.

Rebecca said...

I've had her on my mind the past few days (I never know the exact date, but I knew it was the 8th this weekend, and I can't believe another month has gone by. She is a fighter,and so are you...and John, Jensen and Ellie too! She's so worth it all!

Kaidence's Mommy said...

Happy Birthday Mia!!!! We keep you in our prayers. Keep enduring, just think you are now one day closer to getting your heart. I told myself that all of the time with Kaidence and after months of doing so, it DID happen. Hold on!!!

Brimaca said...

Very sweet post. She is an angel that has made us all better people. Thanks for taking the time to thank me for posting about her. You are the sweet one for taking time to do that. We will continue to pray for her and have a little fundraiser in the works. I'll probably have it posted on Mia's baby blog.

FoxFamilyFive said...

Happy 4 moths to Miracle Mia. =)


Mimi,

I feel like so much of what you write I have either already written myself in Hadley's journals...or could have written/write. Our girl's journeys are so different...yet our mama hearts are so similar. These miracle children we're blessed with demand so much chnage in our hearts and lives. You are absolutely right when you say you will never be the same. You won't be. As time goes on though, you will start to see more and more silver lining and less and less rain cloud. You are in the thick of the storm. I will be praying for peace for you and your family. I learned long ago not to pray for strength. I've always been afraid that praying for strength brought more trials to strengthen me.*LOL*

I'm praying for you.

Angela
www.HadleyFox.com

Rachel said...

Happy Birthday sweet baby girl!

LiNdS said...

Every time I visit your blog I just bawl and cry and get frustrated all over again. I don't even know you, but I feel like I do, and my heart literally aches for little Mia! We are so happy she is 4months old and pray that she will be around for MANY more birthdays! You are so strong and inspirational. Thank you for the beautiful post. We will continue to pray for you, and lobby to raise money for you guys.

Jason said...

hi mimi- I don't know you personally but I have seen your blog about your little girl on lots of my friends pages and started looking into it. I am so sorry for everything you are going threw. I lost my little girl 2 years ago in October, but I still can't imagine what you are going threw. I understand the financial burdens you are put threw and I would love to help you. I sell Scentsy Wickless Candles and I would love to do a fundraiser for you where I would donate 100% of my commissions to you and your family. My email is clover3488@hotmail.com - email me if you get a chance and we can set something up if you are interested. I could also talk to the people that own the company to see if they would be willing to throw in anything extra. Good luck and you are in my prayers! Love - Mindy Probst

Dennis, Crystal and Audrey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dennis, Crystal and Audrey said...

Jaime just told me the news about the Heart. Tears are running down my face. Congratulations. I have said many prayers and finally I can say one that I have been waiting to say for a long time. Mia what a life you have lived for only four months old. We love you and are anxious to meet you. Thank-You for changing the world around you. Mimi thank-you for your sweet spirit. John thanks for all the updates with the kids. I know there is challenges ahead but nothing you can't handle. WE LOVE YOU

Heather and Tim said...

Mimi,
This was a beautiful, honest, and deeply personal expression of your heartache, and your hope--as you said it so poetically. My heart goes out to you and John and especially Mia. We are all SO excited about the heart that is even now on it's way to her, and so thankful for the family who is sharing life with her. We are praying for you!

Jen said...

Paul writing using Jen's IDI remember all too well those first few months for Zoe and how they fly by. I remember all the questions about the future, and what it holds. What you've found is life is lived in the moment, and enjoying the nanoseconds w/all your children, your spouse, etc.
I remember meeting you, and how vibrant Zoe was that day. I sat there, knowing the road ahead, and praying intently for God's peace, power and steadfastness to consume your family. Bravo for speaking your heart, bravo for running the race!!!