Mar 2, 2009

My heart is Broken

I cant sleep. If you clicked on the blog two posts down you will have read about a darling family who's baby just had a transplant. The transplant was not a successful one and sweet Gracie has been on life support for a week. In her last post my friend Michele (her mommy) explains that tomorrow they will be saying goodbye to their baby girl. As the mom of a baby who just had a transplant all of the emotions of what could have easily been our situation sink deep into my heart. Gracie a HLHS baby needed three surgeries, but was recently listed for a transplant. Her call came quickly, but her angel heart didn't function as it should. The doctors told the family that there is really nothing else that can be done for her. Her sweet little body is too fragile and wouldn't be able to handle another transplant or another surgery that would keep her here until another heart becomes available. It all seems like a bad dream- all of it. Two weeks ago Michele was giving me formula and feeding tube tips, and tonight she is lying awake knowing that tomorrow night she will be going home without her precious baby. I wish this wasn't the case, I wish her body could hold on for a new heart. I have spent the better half of the night wondering why and frustrated that what worked so wonderfully for my sweet heart is not the case for Michele's. I know I mention Michele, but my heart breaks for her daddy, brothers, and sister too. I remember praying and asking Heavenly Father if I could "please keep Mia for Jensen and Ellie's sake." I took myself out of the equation, but mourned the possibility of not bringing home a sister for my kids that loved her so much. This family is going through the biggest nightmare of all of our lives. Their strength and Faith are incredible, it amazes me.

This is what I propose. Today is going to be the the most difficult day in their lives... let's let them know that they are not alone. Gracie has had such an impact on so many of us. Please leave a comment on her post with "We heart Gracie" somewhere in the comment. If this is all you write- that is perfect. I don't know what to say myself, all I know is the pain I feel inside for this family and want them to know there are people out there that care. Care that they are doing the impossible Today (Monday). You can also email them instead if you would like. michelegledhill@hotmail.com

If you haven't read about Gracie yet click HERE and grab an entire box of Kleenex and don't plan on moving from your couch for the day. I am really sad- I may need some of you to come over and comfort me too.

So spread the word about "We heart Gracie" and hold your little ones extra close today.

15 comments:

The Simmons Family said...

My heart is aching as well. It hits so close to home how fragile our precious children are. Gracie and Owen started the same heart journey, endured the same feeding issues, then transplant. I was THRILLED when she got her heart so quickly and now I am grieving even harder today. I don't understand the "why's". That was a beautiful post!

Kat Drinkard said...

I follow baby Mia and now Gracie just a/b daily. I did leave my comment and will indeed hold my daughter closer tonight. Thank you for letting me into your life and tuning me into theirs. You all are truly an inspiration.

Kevin and Andrea said...

I have been reading their blog, and this is just so heart breaking. I just can't even imagine going through what all of you "heart mommy's" have. We will never have any idea. And through it all, you are strong and have immovable faith. I admire you so much. I am thinking of little Gracie and her family today. Thanks for the post.

Rebecca said...

I wish I wasn't sick, but I can support over the phone! I commented on little Gracie's blog, what a hardship, I've been following the past few days.

Erin said...

Oh Mimi! It is amazing what these babies and you heart families go through. I'm so sorry for the sadness you feel. My heart just aches today. I must say after following Gracie's story and praying so fervently for little Mia, I will never be the same. I left a comment and little Gracie and her family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Loves to you!

Crystal said...

Ever since you posted this I have been following there blog. When I opened their blog today tears are streaming down my face. My heart is broken. I am so glad Mia got to stick around!!!

Rachel said...

If I wasn't still recovery from the worst cold/flu ever, I'd come over and eat an entire box of chocolates with you! My heart is aching for Michelle. I will send her a comment, although I don't have any great words to share, and I will keep their family in our prayers.

The Whittingslow Family said...

that is such a sad story. i was even crying:(

Jennifer said...

That is so very sad. We've had some pretty bad colds at our house, but they're on their way out so I will be there for you if you want someone to cry with. I'm good at crying.

Tammy and Chris said...

My heart is full of sadness for Gracie and her family, and have them in my prayers. Its times like these that make you realize what matters most in life and not to take them for granted.

Tammy and Chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julie said...

meems, you weren't kidding about that box of tissue. I had clicked over and read Gracie's blog when you first posted about praying for them. that was a kleenex box day too, so I thought I would be okay this time. nope, not at all! and her dad's post this morning...so, so hard! i've been snugglin my kiddos so much lately that they run when they see me coming now! oh well, that's what mom's are for.

Stephanie said...

I've been following along with Gracie also and have been heartbroken for the last couple of days. I read her post yesterday and just sat and cried.

I'm thankful that Mia is in your arms tonight and keeping Gracie's family in my prayers!

Heather and Tim said...

My Dear Mimi,
Oh how my heart aches for you--and for sweet Gracie's family. I just read their blog, while holding little Gavin as he struggled to go to sleep tonight. Oh what a blessing it is to have our little ones come to our homes--a blessing I hope to never take for granted. Mimi, hang in there! I love you and your beautiful family! You are sooo strong. Gracie's family is, too, one can feel of their great faith through their words. What a blessing their friendship has been to you. My prayers go out to them and to you tonight.
Much love,
Heather

Trudi said...

Mimi~
Amazing the connections within heart families. My cousin is a new heart mom at Seattle Children's. Her name is Devon, and her little Miss Karlee received her angel heart three weeks ago. When their journey began in January, I found Maddie's site through a message she had left for Devon. From her site, I found Mia's and Gracie's. I also found Joshua...who is now Karlee's room mate. I also remember seeing Mia's article in the paper (we also live in Puyallup)...and had told my cousin about your story when they were first embarking on this heart journey. I wondered how I could possibly get the two of you together....and then I found that this heart family is so tight knit, and you all took care of that on your own! I have become so connected to these little heart babies, and pray for each of them daily. Gracie's story is absolutely beautiful, as she was too! My heart hurts for all of them. She will never be forgotten...even to those of us who didn't even know her...she left a heartprint! Know that you are in our prayers, and we check on Mia often!