Jun 20, 2009
"You guys get to go home,"
is the phrase we heard from our nurse last night at Children's Hospital. Mia picked up a virus over the weekend and has been battling fevers ever since. After taking her to the pediatrician we were told that she tested negative for everything, and just to watch her closely. Last night at 9:00 her fever was 104 and climbing. I called the transplant docs and they wanted me to take her in to do a bunch of blood cultures.
I packed a quick bag, gave her some Tylenol and headed for Seattle. We have only been up the the ER one other time, and I get really nervous taking her into where everyone else is taking their sick children. Luckily there is protocol in place that when a transplant kid is coming in they take them straight back, avoiding all germs in the waiting room. Mia cried harder than ever the entire ride up, despite having a baby Einstein playing a foot away from her face. She was not a happy baby! I however tried to remain calm knowing everything would be fine in a few hours. When we got there and the nurses came into the room Mia was back to her old self again...flirting with everyone in sight. That Tylenol worked wonders on her! The nurses at Children's always make me feel like Mia is some sort of celebrity. They come to her door and peek in the window, wave, and beckon others to come see how adorable she is. It was nice to have her in such high spirits after such an painful car ride.
We waited around for quite a while for someone to be available from IV team. After no response our nurse decided to take a stab at getting an IV in her non existent veins. We got a great nurse, one who got a kick out of Mia's every move. Sadly she had to be the mean one. Little Mia's foot was heavily taped down and restrained to the bed. She is routinely traumatized by the blood draws and NG re-placing, but those rarely take longer than 30 seconds. She had to lie there for a good five minutes while the nurse collected her blood drip by drip from her IV site. It felt like an eternity because she was screaming and probably wondering why I wasn't scooping her up like I usually do when she gets a poke. After all of the blood dripping, and securing the IV into her tiny foot she was safe in my arms and fell fast asleep on the bed. Sadly they kept coming back to run more labs and Mia was also cathed, and deep suctioned.
Luckily, right before all baby sadness my angel mother walked in. She tried to help soothe little miss during all of the mayhem. Neither of could do anything for her...she only wanted one thing.
My mom is in state visiting her mother who lives on Whidbey Island. She hopped in the car when I told her I was on the way to the hospital. It was so good to see her. She has been such an integral part of this journey, it was bittersweet to be back all together in the hospital. Sometimes it's nice to have someone by your side to witness how badly the situation stinks. Mia lay in my arms while my mom and I got to visit. She sat next to the bed while she busily crocheted. I was mesmerized watching her hands work so quickly. My mind wandered thinking about all of the wonderful things those hands have done and if mine would ever measure up.
We talked about the farm that my dad was busily working on in her absence, Cushman scooters, and toilet installations. Then she told me of her plans to remodel the farm house for when they move up there. I asked her when she thought that would be. "At lease a year," she said. My heart sank in my chest. "So you will be selling the house?" I inquired. "Well, yes, we have nothing keeping us in Midway once we retire." Maybe it was the trauma of the night, but I couldn't contain my tears. I love the house I grew up in, and I knew the day would come that they would sell the house, but I figured there would be many more Christmases in that house.
"It is really sad for me to think that I won't be able to come home." Is all I was able to say before the nurse came in and said, "You guys get to go home." My heart hurt even more. I wanted to tell the nurse, "no I don't...I'll never go home ever again." Then I snapped out of my momentary insanity and rejoiced that we wouldn't be spending the night! All of Mia's labs came back negative, (again) and the other ones needed a few days. We gathered our things, I stopped crying for a minute- but still felt terrible. I was happy to be going home, but felt so sad because I will only be able to go the house I grew up in one maybe two more times. There were so many nights while we were waiting, that I lay awake in the sleeper room longing to be home cozy in my bed. I tried to escape the agony of what was going on with my baby on the floor below me, and thought of waking up to a completely sun filled room warm from the hot morning sun.
I am no stranger to crying the entire drive between my house (in WA) and the hospital, but this time I was sad for different reasons. It had been a rough night and I contemplated how adulthood offers so many heartbreaks and so many wonderful wonderful blessings. My mind wandered to all of the things I will miss about that house. The smell of warm bread, and my mom's cooking (she is an exceptional cook) The large space in the kitchen that I practiced pirouettes and fouettes...the reflection from the large window behind the sink made for perfect spotting. I love walking out onto the deck and seeing a perfect view of Mt. Timpanogas. I will miss watching my sisters apply their make-up in front of a mirror that covered the entire wall at the end of the hallway. My dad defintely had his six girls in mind when he installed that mirror!! I will miss spending hours in our family room on the green leather couches. The arm rests were the perfect distance from the seat to act as a pillow, and generally had someone laying or sleeping on them. I will miss taking walks with my dad (more on this later). I will miss leaning over the banister to talk to someone down stairs. I will miss my mom always bringing me a towel at the end of every shower...still don't have the getting a towel before you shower thing down. :-) I will miss getting injured every time I reached the top of the stairs from a section of carpet runner that was turned poky side up for years. No, I might not miss that, but I will remember it, and have subconsciously trained myself to step over that part when going down stairs. I will miss talking on the phone with an insanely long chord that can reach to any part of the kitchen, and dodging the cord while someone else is on it. I will miss all of the plants that my parents nurtured in that house. I always felt luckily when I got "water plants" on the job chart. I could go on for hours, but I won't...mostly because I slept for about three hours last night. Why is she blogging then? Good question! It is a house full of so many memories, and hopefully my parents will sell it to someone we know so it won't be weird when I come unannounced to show my kids where I grew up.
I may not get to go to the home I love dearly many more times, but I did get to take my baby girl home. The news "You guys get to go home" is great news, and I am one lucky girl to have grown up with so many sisters, loving parents, and to be home with four of the greatest blessings of all.