Aug 28, 2012

RANSACKED??? a blog by john

*- this is a re-post from 2008.  
It was brought to my attention the other day, and it made me laugh... a lot!

Ransacked
I have to tell a story so that all can understand just how busy our children are all day every day….
Mimi and I were out and about on a Saturday. Mimi was in the van with the kids and arrived first at the house. I arrived back at the house just a few minutes later. When I drove up, I saw the Sheriff parked in front of our house. Never a good sign. He explained to me that he had gotten a call from someone that goes to our church, saying that our house had been broken into and ransacked. Apparently, a member of our ward had stopped by (still yet to find out whom) and saw our front door open, no one at home, and possessions, toys, food etc strewn. It turns out that sometimes I forget stuff like closing the front door when I get frazzled with the kids, getting them into the truck with all their kiddy accessories. 

The ransacking: that is just the normal look of our house lately. 

Formula: 2 busy kids + Mom with morning sickness = absolute destruction of personal property. (Think Lord of the Flies).  I love that the word ransacked was used by witnesses. I have used “ground zero” or “city dump” to describe what our children do, but ransacked rings true. I think that possibly our kids think that they are in some sort of contest with the cleaning trolls (the ones that seem to come each night while they are sleeping and magically provide a clean house for the next venue of destruction). They want to see if they can make such a large enough mess that the cleaning trolls won’t be able to keep up. So far it is a tie race.

Oh, and I have to give some props to Mimi. She is in charge of teaching the Dance Festival routines for the entire Stake. She is THE instructor for 4 dances and even choreographed one of the routines. At first we were to be instructors helping out for the couple dances. They quickly recognized Mimi’s willingness to serve and teaching talent, and before you know it, she is running the entire place. She really is amazing. She is pregnant and has been bed-ridden (couch/floor-ridden) and out of nowhere she can tuck the sickness away for a couple hours of energetic dancing and instructing. I have to say that there is a talent she has in teaching. I don’t think she has ever taught a large group to dance and you would never know it from how she can take control of the kids and effectively teach. I have to say that I would have a major crush on her if I was one of the kids in the audience. Matter of fact I do have a crush on her and I will regulate on any kid that tries to make a move. 

12 comments:

Rachel said...

LOVE this entry for so many reasons! "Ransacked"....HILARIOUS! I am dying to know who called the cops.

Sarah said...

Oh my goodness, I love that you posted about this, John. I love it because I can so easily see Christian leaving our front door open with absolutely no idea, and I think it's so funny that they thought someone had broken in! At least you know that if there really was a problem your neighbors and ward members would be all over it ;) And I didn't know you guys were expecting again - Congratulations!!! That is so wonderful. That first trimester is a beast, hang in there Mimi! And way to go for still doing everything when you're feeling so lousy, but I am not surprised in the least. You are one amazing lady miss Mimi!

piercefam said...

That is awesome. I don't know what to comment on first. Your house has definitely seen better days, and I would say the ransackers are actually beating the midnight cleaning crew. I AM DYING that it is THURSDAY and I am just hearing of this hilarious incident with the Sherrif via your blog...HELLO, MEEM. What did you tell the guy..."no, that was us. we ransack our house all the time?"

I love how John ended it...for sure the whole stake young men have a crush on her...that's how it should be! John, don't worry...you are a HUGE threat and they'd never think of making a move. :)

Coatney Family said...

Oh my gosh! That was so funny that I actually peed in my pants a little.

McDonald Clan said...

When he came to the door, and told me what had been reported, I promptly said ransacked? ransacked? (in a high pitch voice) Then I turned around and saw some toys out of the toy box... it wasn't really that bad, well compared to what you've seen ;-) John of course has had a hayday with this experience.. and has all sorts of jokes about the police stoppin in. Even more embarrasing than my house being described as ransacked was the fact that I let my children answer the door and waited a good thirty seconds before I heard.. "is your mommy home?" I normally don't let them answer the door but John was right behind us, and he likes to ring the door bell to get a big welcome home song and dance! I looked so responsible I'm sure!

John's post are far more entertaining than mine!!

Boonie said...

Wow! You really are a bad parent. Did your kids answer the door smoking a joint as well? Did you have to explain to the cop that it took a minute to answer the door because you were flushing your stash. You are such a cracked out mom.

Suz, Nathan & Kye said...

Yea. Ransacked. That's hilarious. When I was out there we left the door open. Oops! I can't say I'm surprised. How many times have I left my keys in the door ALL NIGHT? Multiple. Anyway, I think we all have a crush on Mimi, let's be honest.

Groethe said...

I love this story! Congratulations on the new addition!

Jim Hutchings said...

You almost got me fired for this posting. When I read it, I was laughing so loud in my cubicle that my client had to come over and see what I was laughing about. I love so many things about this posting....

- I think I just love the word Ransacked. Not sure why

- I love that I can really see the mental image of the house, door open and Bay & Po's destruction made known to all. I can also see the image of Meems telling John to shut / lock the front door and Johnboy saying “Yeah” and then climbing right in the truck not even registering what she asked him to do or realizing he agreed to do it.

- I love that fact that the kids answered the door like it aint no thing… “What do you want officer? Yeah that’s my mess, whatcha gonna do about it?”

- I love that your friends called the cops on you, my neighbor called the cops on me once for breaking into my own house (I’ll have to tell you the story sometime)

- I love that I’ve been involved in the ongoing battle and fought valiantly on the side of the “Cleaning Trolls.” Many a good men have died on that battlefield.

- I love that you two haven’t made an official announcement about having a baby, but you keep mentioning morning sickness in all of your blog posts.

I really miss you guys……

Carrie Hellewell said...

Seriously one of the funnier things I've read. Thanks for the good laugh!

eRiCa said...

that is sooo dang funny! At least you can trust your neighbors right? Mimi, hang in there and look forward to the second trimester! You're a super hero for doing all that you are doing when feeling so icky! my hero!

Jayna & Family said...

Nice. All I can say is we have SO all been there. In the ransacking that is life with two kids (especially when you're sick expecting the 3rd)! Hilarious! Good luck surviving the baby sickness- it is the worst! (Hence why I'm done with 3!) Do a baby post so we know when you're due, etc.!