Dec 3, 2012

Just for a minute

Today I wish I could just hold her for a minute.  
One minute. 

I feel like a criminal, and this is the ultimate punishment... trying to live without her.  
I just wish that I could have a few minutes with her each day, since I can't have her all day. 
It is too cruel to go from all day everyday to nothing.  It's too shocking to my system. 

I am over it.  I'm tired of surviving on memories.  I need her in my arms. 
Why can't this be?  

The other night Jensen told me that he is having a hard time remembering things Mia did.  A jolt of pain shot through my heart.  This cannot happen.  He must remember her.  I decided then and there that it would be helpful for all of us to document her life.  
To remember the fun things about her.  
There is much to say and we will spread it out over this next year.  We will do a year of Mia posts and then my children will always have their/our memories here to read back on.  

Today's memory~  Mia is a goof.  She is her only little brand of silliness that could get all of us laughing.  We used the term "lost her mind" often when she would get laughing so hard that she reached a point of delirium.  One of her favorite things was making others laugh.  She had a little sparkle in her eye when she did or said something funny that cracked us up.  Her pleased look on her face was the ultimate reward for laughing at her craziness.  

This picture depicts perfectly that look.  

I miss her so much.  Oh how I wish I could have her back. 
At least for One minute.