Dec 18, 2012

Remembering Mia- Cookies

Mia girl lovvvves cooking.  She is glued to the oven as you can see. 
Waiting, watching, excited about that first batch of cookies. 
The kids made these cookies all by themselves. 
They actually worked together and it was a beautiful evening with
all children involved in a family activity. 
This rarely occurs.... with all the kids.  

Sammers is equally excited. He stationed himself as the lookout.  

Ells is excited about the glurch she made at Imagination Station that day.

I see her little body and her beautiful long hair and I just want her back. 
so so so so so so badly.  I want to brush her hair, and kiss her face. 

I need that little peanut. 
I miss her so much!
Here little minnie mouse jammies are in her drawer ready for ni-night. 
I just don't know how much pain one mama heart can endure.
The pain is real and awful every single day.  
I feels as if my own heart might just give out from how broken it feels all of the time.
That is not something I am just throwing out there... it is truly how I feel.
I did make an appointment to be seen by a cardiologist for this reason.
I will post results from the appointment.

I am a heart mom.  I loved my life being a heart mom.
Having to walk back through the doors and get an echo for myself knowing I will never be back with my girl is not going to be something I will enjoy.  I miss watching her get echo's.  She was the perfect patient all of the time.  She just watched her show and was so enthusiastic when she was finally done.  She always picked a prize and it seems like yesterday I was carrying her from the echo room to an exam room.  She was happy and healthy and perfect.  Why is she gone!?!