Feb 14, 2013

My girl turns 8

Ellie Camille turned 8 today.  

This girl is beautiful.  Despite being put through the ringer this year she has shown so much grace and love to her family.  Every night when she goes to bed she talks about Mia and how much she misses her.  She wonders when she will get her sister back.  She asks me if she is going to be alone for the rest of her life.  She breaks my heart every day.  I feel like giving her the world because her world has been taken away.  Even when she is sad she has a grief radar and knows when someone is especially sad.  Ellie enjoys writing heartfelt letters.  When I am sad, she write me a letter.  I have many of them saved.  All of her letters are caring and sweet.  She cares a lot. 

I wish on her birthday I could gift her some time with her sister.  

Having five sisters myself I just need her to have that relationship... with a sister.  Here. Physically.   I know she can have a relationship with her, but I want her to have someone here with her to have a life with and make memories with.  It just hurts so much to witness her everyday... this girl I love so much without her little sister.  Mia was Ellie's life.  

I am hoping her party will be a good distraction from her grief.  
I love this girl so much!

I look in her eyes and feel devastated that she has to go through this. 
I want to take that pain from her. I want to give her Mia back.  
She is the best sister in the world- now missing her sister. 
It just feels awful!
Some days it is all consuming.  Today is a good day.  
Valentines day and my Daughter's birthday.  Today I happy. 

Happy Birthday sweet girl!  
I know your heart hurts so much and I just want you to know how proud I am of you!  You are such a sweetheart and I just want you to be happy.  You and I are in this together.