Mar 23, 2013

A time to laugh

Things have been busy around here.  
Really really busy. 

It seems like I went from barely hanging on doing nothing to doing a lot and somehow thriving. 
A few months ago I was called to help with this years young women's camp.  I was so excited about this because 1) I love the young women 2) I love girls camp! What's there not to love.  The camp specialist and I made a video to introduce the theme and get the girls excited about going to camp.  I would post the video, but... Id rather not.  We think we're pretty cleaver. It was so nice to laugh... and we laughed a lot!  I need to make more time to laugh.    

John and I purchased these "horse heads" last year and haven't really felt like being funny, but they were an essential part of our little video.  Due to how fantastic these are, you have not seen the last of the horse heads.  If you have skyped with us recently chances are you have seen the horse heads. 

A few weeks after I was called for this, I was also called as the Laurel advisor.  I feel like I have been gifted a new heart full of love for these girls.  I am excited to serve them, and this calling has been healing for me.  I adore these girls!  When I am at mutual it's as if all of sadness disappears for an hour.  It couldn't have come at a better time.  More on this later.  

Other things that have been going on that I will most likely not get to-

John boy passed his test.  He is excited and very much looking for a job in an ICU. I know this is kind of unheard of for new grads, but you never know.  Cross your fingers with us. 

Ells started taking a dance class. She loves it.

Jense started taking guitar lessons from a friend.  He is really excited and has practiced everyday.  

Jense and Ells did their science fair projects and were pretty excited about them.

Sammy makes messes faster than I can clean them up.

I am having longer stretches of feeling OK which is nice.  I am by no means OK, but I have parts of my day that aren't torturous.  I am always going to be sad and always going to need that little girl... always!  It is nice to feel some of the sadness being crowded out by good things.  My kids are in counseling and I think that has helped as well.  I've decided that everyday I learn a little more how to be a mother without her.  It might take me years and years to get to a place where I am not shattered on the inside, but little pieces are coming together and that's good enough for me.

Again, thank you for all your kindness.  I love how many of you have been touched by my Mia.  It truly helps me to know how much she is loved.